Mr. Popeil

Weird Al Yankovic · Permanent Record Al In The Box [1999]

I need a Vegematic

I need a Pocket Fisherman

I need a handy appliance

That'll scramble an egg while it's still inside its shell



Operators are standing by

How does that make you feel

Help me

Mr. Popeil



I wanna shine some pennies

I wanna mend some leather

I wanna Krazy-Glue my head

To the bottom of a big steel girder



Please, no C.O.D.'s

Don't miss out on this deal

Ah, help me

Mr. Popeil



Help me

Mr. Popeil

Mr. Popeil

Mr. Popeil



Woah

It slices, it dices

Look at that tomato

You could even cut a tin can with it

But you wouldn't want to



Mr. Popeil, I'm in trouble

Need your assistance on the double

Oh no, now how am I gonna make

My old vinyl car top look like new

Mr. Popeil

Tell me, what am I supposed to do



Mr. Popeil

Mr. Popeil



Now how much would you pay

But wait, there's more

It's not sold in any store



Now how much would you pay

Don't answer yet

Just look what else you get



Now how much would you pay

If you order today

You get a Ginsu knife and a smokeless Ashtray



Now how much would you pay

Now how much would you pay

Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil

Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil

Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil

Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil



Make me buy a Garden Weasel

Make me buy a Bamboo Steamer

Make me take advantage

Of this amazing TV offer

Call our toll-free number

We'll make you such a deal



Aw, help me

Mr. Popeil, I want it

Mr. Popeil, well, I need it

Mr. Popeil, I got to got to got to have it

Mr. Popeil

Mr. Popeil

Hey