Why Does This Always Happen To Me?

I was watching my TV one night

when they broke in with a special report

About some devastating earthquake in Peru

There were thirty thousand crushed to death,

Even more were buried alive

on the Richter scale it measured 8.2

And I said, "God, please answer me one question,...

Why'd they have to interrupt "The Simpsons" just for this?"

What a drag, 'cause I was taping it and everything

And now I'll have to wait for the rerun

to see the part of the show I missed



Why does this always happen...

Why does the always happen to me?

Why does this always happen...

Why does the always happen to me?



I was driving down the highway when all traffic slowed to a crawl

There was a 12-car pile-up,

everybody dead

And I saw brains and guts and vital organs splattered everywhere

As well as my friend Robert's disembodied head

And I thought - Poor Rob,

I just had lunch with him

Hey, wait a minute, he still owes me money- what a jerk

Well, there's five bucks that I'm never gonna see again

Plus now, on top of everything else,

It looks like I'm gonna be late to work



Oh, Why does this always happen...

Why does the always happen to me?

Why does this always happen...

Why does the always happen to me?



Oh, the other day my boss said we were running low on toner

And he told me I should buy another case

Welll, I told him I was busy,

but he still kept on asking

So I turned around and stabbed him in the face

Oh, and wouldn't you know it?

My knife got stuck

I guess that's probably bound to happen now and then

But I'm afraid I may have bent the tip a little

And I know that blade will never be quite as sharp again



Oh tell me, why does this always happen...

Why does the always happen to me?

Why does this always happen...

Why does the always happen to me?