You're the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly

(Terry Fell - Bobby Edwards - Fred Henley)



Conway - Well, you're the reason I'm ridin' around on big-capped tires

Loretta - And you're the reason I'm hangin' our clothes outside on wires

Both - And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'

Oh, but looks ain't everything

And money ain't everything

But I love you just the same.



Conway - Well, you're the reason I changed to beer from soda pop

Loretta - And you're the reason I never get to go to the beauty shop

Both - And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'

Oh, but looks ain't everything

And money ain't everything

But I love you just the same.



Both - I guess that we won't ever have, everything we need

'Cause when we get ahead, it's got a double mouth to feed.



Loretta - And that's the reason my good looks, and my figure is gone

Conway - And that's the reason that I ain't got no hair to comb

Both - And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'

Oh, but looks ain't everything

And money ain't everything

But I love you just the same.



Loretta (speaking) - Conway, why in the devil don't you go and shave,

or put on clean pair of pants?

Conway (speaking) - But Loretta, look at yourself. I wish you'd take

them curlers outta your hair and go put on a little

make-up and get outta that housecoat before supper.

Loretta - Well let me tell you somethin' Conway. Considering everything

that I went through today, I look like a movie star.

Conway - Yeah, Ruth Buzzley.

Loretta - Thank you.

Conway - Besides that, all of our kids took after your part of the family anyways.

Loretta - Oh they did, huh? What about the ones that's bald?

Conway - Well, I guess you could say they took after me...