The Official Historian on Shirley Jean Barrell

I'm the official historian of Shirley Jean Berrell

I've know her since God only knows and I won't tell

I caught her the first time that she stumbled and fell

And surely she knows me just as well.



I can tell you here birthday and her daddy's middle name

The uncles on her mama's side and the one they don't claim

What she's got for Christmas since 1952

And that's only the beginning of the things I could tell you



I'm the official historian of Shirley Jean Berrell

I've known her since God only knows and I won't tell

I caught her the first time that she stumbled and fell

And surely she knows me just as well.



I can tell you her favorite song and where she likes to park

And why to this very day she's scared of the dark

How she got her nickname and that scar behind her knee

If there's anything you need to know about Shirley just ask me.



I know where she's ticklish and her every little quirk

The funnies she don't read and her number at work

I know what she stands for and what she won't allow

The only thing that I don't know is where she is right now



I'm the official historian of Shirley Jean Berrell

I've know her since God only knows and I won't tell

I caught her the first time that she stumbled and fell

And surely she knows me just as well.



Oh surely she knows me just as well...