Dorothy Parker

Dorothy was a waitress on the promenade

She worked the night shift

Dishwater, blonde, tall an' fine

She got a lotta tips



Well, earlier I'd been talkin' stuff in a violent room

Fightin' with lovers past

I needed someone with a quicker wit than mine

Dorothy was fast



Well, I ordered, "Yeah, let me get a fruit cocktail, I ain't too hungry"

Dorothy laughed

She said, "Sound like a real man to me

You kinda cute, you wanna take a bath?

Do you wanna, do you wanna? Bath"



I said, "Cool, I'm leavin' my pants on", "What you say?"

"'Cuz I'm kinda goin' with someone"

She said, "Sound like a real man to me

Mind if I turn on the radio?"



"Oh, my favorite song," she said

An' it was Joni singin'

'Help me I think I'm falling'



Ring, the phone rang an' she said

"Whoever's callin' can't be as cute as you"

Right then an' there I knew I was through

Dorothy Parker was cool



Well, my pants where wet, they came off

But she didn't see the movie 'cuz she hadn't read the book first

Instead she pretended she was blind

An affliction brought on by a witch's curse



Dorothy made me laugh

I felt much better so I went back

To the violent room

Tell us what you did, what you did?

Let me tell you what I did



I took another bubble bath with my pants on

All the fightin' stopped

Next time I'll do it sooner

This is the ballad of Dorothy Parker



Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker

Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker

Well, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, well