Bert And Ernie And The Fan

Bert (writing a letter with a pencil): "Dear Mister

Rogers, I wish you would send me ..."



Ernie (entering): Boy, it's a hot one today,

Bert! (Bert doesn't answer) Bert?

Oh, he's writing a letter.

I won't bother him. (Louder) I won't bother you,

Bert! (Bert looks up, sighs,

and continues writing) I'll just get the electric fan

and turn on some cool air.

(Gets the fan and turns it on) Oh,

there, that's better. (Pause) If some cool air feels

good, I'll bet more cool air would feel even better.

(Turns it on higher; it's starting to get really breezy

now!) Oh, the more air this fan blows,

the cooler I feel. I bet if I turned it on all the

way, it'd get really cool!

(Does so, and papers start blowing around everywhere.) Oh, wow!



Bert: Ernie! The fan! Turn it off!



Ernie: What's that, Bert?



Bert: Turn the fan off!



Ernie: I can't hear you, Bert!



Bert: I said, TURN THE FAN OFF!



Ernie: TURN THE FAN OFF?



Bert: TURN THE FAN OFF!



Ernie: Oh, okay. (Turns it off)



Bert: Ernie ...



Ernie: Yes, Bert?



Bert: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

I HAVE BEEN SITTING OVER THERE,

TRYING TO WRITE A LETTER, AND ALL YOU DO IS BOTHER

ME WITH THAT FAN! I AM SO HOT AND BOTHERED!



Ernie: You're hot and bothered, Bert?



Bert: YES, I AM HOT AND BOTHERED!



Ernie: Oh, I have just the thing for someone who's hot and bothered.



Bert: What's that?



Ernie: Cool air, Bert! (Turns the fan on all the way.

Papers blow around, and Bert starts yelling.)