Bert Can't Sleep

Bert: "18 .... 19 ..... 20 .

... Boy, those exercises are great,

Ernie, I'm gonna turn the light off now though."



Ernie: "OK, Bert."



Bert: (yawns) "OK, Ernie ... G'night now sleep tight.."



Ernie: "G'night Bert ... sweet dreams."



Bert: "OK...g'night."



(Sound of water dripping)



Bert: "Hey uh...Hey Ern....Ernie?"



Ernie: "What?"



Bert: "You uh, hear that? Sounds like water dripping, you know?"



Ernie: "Is that right? Yeah,

it does sound like water dripping.

I must've left the faucet on a little bit when I washed

my hands ... that's all, Bert .. g'night."



Bert: "Hey Ernie, I can't sleep with the sound of water dripping."



Ernie: "You can't?"



Bert: "No."



Ernie: "Gee."



Bert: "Well, would you do me a favor and do something

about the sound of that water dripping?"



Ernie: "Sure, Bert. Anything for you.

I don't mind at all. Ol' Ernie will take care of it

alright." (Ernie gets out of bed)



Bert: "Good."



(Radio blasts which causes Bert to jerk out of bed)



Bert: "Ernie! Ernie what is that?"



Ernie: "That's the radio, Bert."



Bert: "Ernie, the radio?!"



Ernie: "Yeah, well you said you couldn't sleep with

the sound of that water dripping,

well, this way you can't hear that old faucet hardly

at all, can you, Bert? Keeheehee."



Bert: "No, I can't hear the water dripping anymore

.. but I can hear the radio and you know what,

Ernie? I can't sleep with the sound of that radio either

it's so loud! Ernie! Aww..come on!"



Ernie: "Well don't worry about it,

Bert, I mean 'ol Ernie will take care of that too.

I'll do that for you, Bert."



Bert: "Alright!"



(Ernie turns the vacuum cleaner on which causes Bert

to jerk out of bed again)



Bert: "Ernie! Ern...what're you doing?

Why'd you turn the vacuum cleaner on?!"



Ernie: "What's that Bert? I can't hear you!"



Bert: "I said, why'd you turn the vacuum cleaner ooooonnnnn?!!!!!"



Ernie: "Well you said you couldn't sleep with the sound

of the radio, well this way, you can't hear that radio hardly at all!!!!!!"



Bert: "All right. All right .

.. Ernie, stay where you are .. stay where you are, don't move."



Ernie: "OK Bert! G'niiiiiiight!!!!!"



Bert: "First, I'm gonna get this vaccum cleaner.

There. I'm gonna shut this radio off now!

I'm gonna ... Ok, I shut the radio off,

now I'm gonna get the water .

. There ... OK .... Alright,

now we can finally get some sleep with some nice peace

and quiet (Bert gets into bed) *mutters* Boy, this is ridculous."



(Ernie snores)



Bert: "Ernie? Ernie you're snoring."



(Ernie snores again)



Bert: "Ernie!! *sigh* It's not fair, it's just not fair."