The M Who Came To Dinner

Man (standing near a doorway): I've invited a friend

over to have a little dinner.



(A capital M enters and gazes into the room.

We see a long table loaded with all kinds of food and drink.)



M: Mmm! Mmmmmm, mmmmmm!



Man: Go ahead. Dig right in. Make yourself at home.



M (who is already on the table): Mmmm,

marvelous! Mmmm, meat! (Gulps down the whole slab and

drinks a full glass of wine.

) Mmmm, marshmallows! (Tosses them down,

one after the other.) Mmmm,

munch! (Eats up something I never could identify.

) Mmmmmmm! Mmmm, mmmmm! Magnificent!



(Man is staring openmouthed as M devours one thing after another.)



M: Mmmmm, milk! (Downs a whole glassful.

) Mmmmm, melon! (Gobbles it up and keeps noshing down

until every dish is empty.) Mmmmm, mmmm, mmmmm!



Man: I say, you're just about the greediest,

rudest letter I ever saw! You ate up everything!



M: Mmmmm, mmmmm, mmmmmmmm! (Hops down from table.)



Man: I'm telling you, never invite an M over to your

house for dinner! (M rubs against his ankles,

but he walks offscreen.) No,

don't try to make up with me.

Next time, I'll invite a .

.. a J, or a polite Q. But not another M!

(M starts munching until nothing is left on the screen, leaving it dark.)