The Ballad Of Robert Moore And Betty Coltrane

There was a thick set man with frog eyes



Who was standing at the door



And a little bald man with wing-nut ears



Was waiting in the car



Well, Robert Moore passed the frog-eyed man



As he walked into the bar



And Betty Coltrane she jumped under her table



"What's your pleasure?" asked the barman



He had a face like boiled meat



"There's a girl called Betty Coltrane



That I have come to see"



"But I ain't seen that girl 'round here



For more than a week"



And Betty Coltrane he had hid beneath the table



Well, then in came a sailor with



Mermaids tattooed on his arms



Followed by the man with the wing-nut ears



Who was waitin' in the car



Well, Robert Moore sensed trouble



He'd seen it comin' from afar



And Betty Coltrain she gasped beneath the table



Well, the sailor said, "I'm looking for my wife



They call her Betty Coltrain"



The frog-eyed man said, "That can't be



That's my wife's maiden name"



And the man with the wing-nut ears said



"Hey, I married her back in Spain"



And Betty Coltrain crossed herself beneath the table



Well, Robert Moore stepped up and said



"That woman is my wife"



And he drew a silver pistol



And a wicked bowie knife



And he shot the man with the wing-nut ears



Straight between the eyes



And Betty Coltrain, she moaned under the table



Well, the frog-eyed man jumped at Robert Moore



Who stabbed him in the chest



And as Mister Frog-eyes died he said



"Betty, you're the girl that I loved best"



Then the sailor pulled a razor



Robert blasted it to bits



"And Betty, I know you're under the table"



"Well, have no fear," said Robert Moore



"I do not want to hurt you"



"Never a woman did I love me



Half as much as you



"You're the blessed sun, the meek girl



And you are the sacred moon"



And Betty shot his legs out from under the table



Well, Robert Moore went down heavy



With a crash upon the floor



And over to his trashin' body



Betty Coltrain she did crawl



She put the gun to the back of his head



And pulled the trigger once more



And blew his brains out all over the table



Well, Betty stood up and shook her head



And waved the smoke away



Said, "I'm sorry Mr. Barman



To leave your place this way"



As she emptied out their wallets she said



"I'll collect my severance pay"



Then she winked and threw a dollar on the table