Constipated

Weird Al Yankovic · Other Songs - Weird Al Yankovic

extra cheese uh huh



pizza party at your house

i went just to check it out

19 extra larges what a shame

no one came just us eatin

all alone you said take the pizza home

no sense lettin all this go to waste

so then i faced pizza all day and every day

there's cheese round the clock it's gettin

me blocked and i sure don't care for irregularity



Tell me why'd ya have to go and make me so constipated

cause right now i'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated

in the bathroom i sit, and i wait, and i strain and i sweat, and i clench

and i feel the pain oh should i take a laxative or have my colon irrigated

no no no



I was feelin pretty down til my girlfriend came around

we're just so alike in every way i gotta say

in fact i just thought i might

pop the question there that night i was kissing her so tenderly

but woe is me

who woulda guessed her family crest i'd suddenly spy tattooed on her thigh

and son of a gun it's just like the one on me



Tell me how was i supposed to know that we were both related

believe me if i knew she was my cousin we never would've dated

what to do now, should i go ahead and propose and get hitched and have

kids with eleven toes and move to alabama where that kinda thing

is tolerated

no no no

no no

no no

no no

no no

no no

no no



i had so much on my mind

i thought maybe i'd unwind

try out that new roller coaster ride

and the guide, said not to stand

but that's a demand

that i couldn't meet, i got on my feet

and stood up instead and knocked off my head

you see



Tell me

Why'd i have to go and get myself decapitated

Cause really it's a major inconvenience, oh man i really hate it

it's such a drag now can't eat, i can't breathe,

i can't snore i can't belch

or yodel anymore can't spit or blow my nose or

even read sports illustrated

OH NO! why'd i have to go and get myself all mutilated

i gotta tell ya life without a head kinda makes me irritated

What a bummer i can't blink, i can't cough, i can't sneeze

but neck is enjoying a pleasant breeze now

haven't been the same since my head and i were separated

no no no