Merchandisers

Whether you are pro or anti

Or could not care less

We are here to tell you

We are here to sell you chess

Not a chance of you escaping from our wiles

We've locked the doors, we've blocked the aisles

We've a franchise worth exploiting

And we will - yes we will!

When it comes to merchandising

We could kill



When you get up -

When you get up in the morning

Till you crash at night

You will have to live your life

With bishop, rook and knight

Clean your teeth with chequered toothpaste

Wear our vests

Our kings and queens on bouncing breasts



You could even buy a set

And learn to play

We don't mind we'll sell you something

Anyway



We've done all our market research

And our findings show

That this game of chess could be around

A month or so

Maybe it's a bit confusing

For a game

But Rubik's Cubes were much the same

In the end the whole world bought one

All were gone

By which time we merchandisers

Had moved on



By which time we had moved on!