Chef - No Substitute

You know Kathie Lee, you are a very special woman

I don't mean special in a Mary Tyler-Moore way

Or an extra-value meal at Happy Burger way

No, I mean SPECIAL, like...

The song of the hummingbird as it gets ready to find that female hummingbird

And make sweet love to it all night long

Just two hummingbirds moaning' and groanin'

And letting their bodies caress and touch each other in ecstasy

Slowly, the male hummingbird gets behind the female hummingbird

And eases his way into her golden valley

Gliding gently in and out, in and out, oh, in and out

Two hummingbirds doin' it doggy style all night long

Until finally the male hummingbird screams with passion

And lets his little humming gravy fly all over the nest

And it makes me wanna

It makes me wanna sing this special song for you

Yeah, baby, yeah mama.



Ooh Kathie Lee, you're such a special woman to me

How I'd love to lay you down

And lick every inch of your body

With my tongue.

Kathie Lee, you're my sexual fantasy

How 'bout you and me?

Get it together and make sweet love...



'Cause nobody can take your place

No way they can match your face,

No, you got it goin' on in a way so clear

I just wanna buy you a beer.



I thought maybe tonight at seven thirty or seven, I could come by and



Pick you up in my car

(No substitute!) No substitute for you!

(No substitute!)

No baby there's (no substitute!) for you girl

(No substitute!) for you now.



I know you love my body so much

It's something you can't help but touch, ooh

I might let you if you promise to be gentle,

Now I'm gettin' all sentimental.



Maybe tonight after pickin' you up in my car

We can park down over by the gas station

That closed two weeks ago and make love in the back seat and...



Drop you off at home

(No substitute!) No substitute for you

(No substitute!) No baby there's...

(No substitute!) Come on baby say it -

(No substitute!) For you now.



Now you remember our two hummingbirds

Well, after their night of passion

The male hummingbird couldn't sleep or eat

All he could think about was that incredible night

When things were flyin' all over the place

And beaks were where they should be

So he put his beak lips together and whistled a song

Calling that female hummingbird back for another night of fire

Just like I'm calling out for you, baby

Hey, get your ass over here for some good lovin'



There's only one word that can describe you

You're a flippity-floppity-hootchy-mama-woo woo

You've got everything I ever wanted

My metaphor's all been exhausted.



So, what say you and I forget about this singin' and songin'

And act like a couple of hummingbirds ourselves?

And get down to some business.



(No substitute!) No substitute for you

(No, no, no substitute!)

No, baby there's (no substitute!) for you girl

(No substitute!) for you girl (no substitute!)

For you (no, no, no, no, no, no substitute!)

For you girl



Ladies and gentlemen, the Fabulous Chefettes



(No) no (no) subs (subs) sti (tute) for (you)

Ba (by) no (no) no no no (no) for you yeah,

(No substitute!) for you Kathie Lee, yeah.