Robot Hell

From "Hell Is Other Robots" (Season 1, Episode 9)



Robot Devil:

Gentlemen?



(Music starts)



Bender:

Aww, crap; singing. Mind if I smoke?



Robot Devil:

Cigars are evil; you won't miss 'em

We'll find ways to simulate that smell

What a sorry fella! Rolled up and smoked like a panatella,

here on level one of Robot Hell!



Gambling's wrong and so is cheating;

so is forging phony I.O.U.s

Let's let Lady Luck decide what type of torture's justified;

I'm pit boss here on level two!



Ooh, deep-fried robot!



Bender:

Just tell me why!



Robot Devil:

Please read this fifty-five page warrant.



Bender:

There must be robots worse than I!



Robot Devil:

We've checked around; there really aren't.



Bender:

Then please let me explain: my crimes were merely boyish pranks.



Robot Devil:

You stole from boy scouts, nuns, and banks!



Bender:

Aww, don't blame me; blame my upbringing!



Robot Devil:

Please stop sinning while I'm singing!



Selling bootleg tapes is wrong;

musicians need that income to survive.



Beastie Boys:

Hey, Bender, gonna make some noise

with your hard drive scratched by the Beastie Boys!



(Record scratching sounds)



That's what-cha, what-cha, what-cha get on level five!



Fry:

I don't feel well!



Leela:

It's up to us to rescue him.



Fry:

Maybe he likes it here in hell?



Leela:

It's us who tempted him to sin.



Fry:

Maybe he's back at the motel?



Leela:

Come on, Fry, don't be scared!

I'm sure at least one of us will be spared,

so just sit back; enjoy the ride.



Fry:

My ass has blisters from the slide!



Robot Devil:

Fencing diamonds, fixing cockfights, publishing indecent magazines...

You'll pay for every crime, knee-deep in electric slime!

You'll suffer 'till the end of time, enduring tortures; most of

which rhyme

Trapped forever here in Robot Hell!