Friggin' In The Riggin'

It was on the Good Ship Venus

By Christ, ya shoulda seen us

The figurehead was a whore in bed

And the mast was a mammoth penis.



The captain of this lugger

He was a dirty bugger

He wasn't fit to shovel shit

From one place to another



Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

There was fuck all else to do



Captain's name was Morgan

By Christ, he was a gorgon

Ten times a day, sweet tunes he'd play

On his fuckin' organ



The first mate's name was Cooper

By Christ he was a trooper.

He jerked and jerked until he worked

Himself into a stupor



Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

There was fuck all else to do



The second mate was Andy

By Christ, he had a dandy

Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock

For cumming in the brandy



The cabin boy was Flipper

He was a fuckin' nipper

He stuffed his arse with broken glass

And circumcised the skipper



Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

There was fuck all else to do



Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

There was fuck all else to do



The Captain's wife was Mabel

To fuck she wasn't able

So the dirty shits, they nailed her tits

Across the barroom table



The Captain had a daughter

Who fell in deep sea water

And by her squeals we knew the eels

Had found her sexual quarters



Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

Friggin' in the riggin'

There was fuck all else to do (Repeat to fade)