Sorry to Myself

For hearing all my doubts so selectively, and

For continuing my numbing love endlessly, and

For helping you and myself, not even considering

For beating myself up and overfunctioning



To whom do I owe the biggest apology?

No one's been crueler than I've been to me



For letting you decide if I indeed was desirable, and

For my self-love being so embarrassingly conditional, and

For denying myself to somehow make us compatible, and

For trying to fit a rectangle into a hole



To whom do I owe the biggest apology?

No one's been crueler than I've been to me



I'm sorry to myself

My apologies begin here before everybody else

I'm sorry to myself

For treating me worse than I would anybody else



For blaming myself for your unhappiness and

For my impatience when I was perfect where I was

Ignoring all the signs that I was not ready and

For expecting myself to be where you wanted me to be



To whom do I owe the first apology?

No one's been crueler than I've been to me



And I'm sorry to myself

My apologies begin here before everybody else

I'm sorry to myself

For treating me worse than I would anybody else



Well, I wonder which crime is the biggest?

Forgetting you or forgetting myself

Had I heeded the wisdom of the latter

I would've naturally loved the former



For ignoring you: my highest voices

For smiling when my strife was all too obvious

For being so disassociated from my body and

For not letting go when it would've been the kindest thing



To whom do I owe the biggest apology?

No one's been crueler than I've been to me



And I'm sorry to myself

My apologies begin here before everybody else

I'm sorry to myself

For treating me worse than I would anybody else

I'm sorry to myself

My apologies begin here before everybody else

I'm sorry to myself

For treating me worse than I would anybody else