I Was Hoping

As we were talking outside, it was cold

We were shivering, yet warmed by the subject matter

My wife is in the next room

We've been having troubles, you know?

Please don't tell her or anyone, but I need to talk to somebody



You said, "Wouldn't it be a shame if I knew how great I was

Five minutes before I died? I'd be filled with such regret

Before I took my last breath"

And I said, "You're willing to tell me this now, and you're not going to

Die any time soon"

And I said, "I haven't been eating chicken or meat or anything"

And you said, "Yes, but you've been wearing leather" and laughed and said

"We're at the top of the food chain, and yes, you're still a fine woman"

And I cringed



I was hoping, I was hoping we could heal each other

I was hoping, I was hoping we could be raw together



We left the restaurant where the head waiter (in his 60's) said

"Goodbye, sir. Thank you for your business, sir.

You're successful and established, sir. We like the frequency with which

You dine here, sir...and your money"

And when I walked by they said, "Thank you, too, dear"

I was all pigtails and cords, and there was a day when I would've said

Something like, "Hey, dude, I could buy and sell this place, so kiss it.

I, too, once thought I was owed something"



I was hoping, I was hoping we could challenge each other

I was hoping, I was hoping we could crack each other up



I, too, thought that when proved wrong I lost somehow, and

I, too, once thought life was cruel, and

It's a cycle really: you think I'm withdrawing and guilt-tripping you

I think you're insensitive and I don't feel heard



And I said, "Do you believe we are fundamentally judgemental?

Fundamentally evil?"

And you said, "Yes"

I said, "I don't believe in revenge; in right or wrong; good or bad"

You said, "Well, what about the man that I saw handcuffed in the

Emergency room, bleeding after beating his kid, and she threw a shoe

At his head?"

And I think what he did was wrong

And I would've had a hard time feeling compassion for him

I had to watch my tone for fear of having you feel judged



I was hoping, I was hoping we could dance together

I was hoping, I was hoping we could be creamy together