That Particular Time

My foundation was rocked

My tried-and-true way to deal was to vanish

My departures were old

I stood in the room shaking in my boots.



At that particular time, love had challenged me to stay

At that particular moment, I knew not to run away again

That particular month, I was ready to investigate with you

At that particular time.



We thought a break would be good

For four months we sat and vacillated

We thought a small time apart would clear up the doubts

That were abounding.



At that particular time, love encouraged me to wait

At that particular moment, it helped me to be patient

That particular month, we needed time to marinate

In what "us" meant

At that particular time.



I've always wanted for you what you've wanted for yourself

And yet I wanted to save us, high water or Hell

And I kept on ignoring the ambivalence you felt

And in the meantime, I lost myself

In the meantime, I lost myself

I'm sorry I lost myself

I am.



You knew you needed more time

Time spent alone with no distraction

You felt you needed to fly

Solo and high to define what you wanted.



At that particular time, love encouraged me to leave

At that particular moment, I knew staying with you meant deserting me

That particular month was harder than you'd believe, but I still left

At that particular time.