Happy Anniversary (Bon Anniversaire)

I've been ready for hours and I'm wearing my best,

Ordered champagne and flowers and you're not even dressed.

Tonight's a special night to remember with pride

These twenty happy years since you became my bride.

It is all too absurd; you're so cross and abrupt,

But I don't say a word or you're bound to erupt

Your peculiar moods I've experienced before

So I pour another drink and quietly pace the floor.

It's a quarter to eight as we fretfully wait

For your little black dress; that was promised by six.

Is it just rotten luck when we're doing the town

That the fates should conspire to let us mortals down ?

I have seats for a show, and it's opening night

My shoes do not fit me and my suit is too tight

And you sit there and curse, an occasional curse

And I've got a headache that's quickly getting worse.



Happy anniversary, Happy anniversary.



They deliver your frock, but you're still in distress

It was past nine o'clock when I helped you to dress.

I tried to do you up but it wasn't my day

For then to fill my cup, your zipper stuck half way

I got all in a sweat, over anxious and vexed.

Will I ever forget the thing that happened next

Your dress just came apart with one terrible tear

Your disappointed cries were more than I could bear.

At eleven, at last, when we got into town

We arrived at the show but the curtain was down.

I suggested a bite but no, no, you wanted to walk

You had no appetite and no desire to talk.

So we strolled for an hour and the evening was sweet

And I bought you a flower from a man in the street.

And we kissed on the sidewalk, without reason or rhyme

Where we knew that our love is stronger than time.



Happy anniversary, Happy anniversary, Happy anniversary.