The Laughing Gnome

I was walking

Down the high street

When I heard footsteps behind me

And there was a little old man (hello!)

Scarlet and Gray, chuckling away



Well he trotted

Back to my house

And he sat beside the telly (ahh)

With his tiny hands on his tummy

Chuckling away, laughing all day



i'll have to report you to the gnome office

(gnome office? ahahahah!)



Hah hah hah

Hee hee hee

I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me

Hah hah hah

Hee hee hee

I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me

Said the laughing gnome



Well I gave him roasted toadstools

And a glass of dandelion wine (*burp* pardon)

Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne

Carried his bags, and gave him a fag (have you got a light boy?)



hey where do you come from?

(gnome-ans land, hehe!)

oh really?



In the morning

When i woke up

He was sitting on the edge of my bed

With his brother who's name was Fred

He brought him along

To sing me a song



alright let's hear it

now, what's that clicking noise?

(that's Fred, he's a metro-gnome, haha)



Hah hah hah

Hee hee hee

I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me

Hah hah hah

Hee hee hee

I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me



(oh now, i'm a gnome anyway haha)

haven't you got a home to go to?

(no, we are gnome-ads hehe)

didn't they teach you to get your hair cut at school you look like a rolling gnome

(nah, not at the London school of eco-gnome-ics)



Now they're staying

Up me chimney

And we're living on cavier and honey (hurray!)

Cos they're earning me lots of money

Writing comedy prose

For radio shows



it's the errrr

it's the gnome-service of course!



Hah hah hah

Hee hee hee

I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me

Hah hah hah

Hee hee hee (oh really)

I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me

(one more time!)

Hah hah hah

Hee hee hee

I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me