PMS Blues

(Dolly Parton)



Eve, you wicked woman you done put your curse on me

Why didn't you just leave that apple hangin' in the tree

You make us hate our husbands, our lovers and our boss

Why I can't even count the good friends I've already lost.



'Cause of PMS blues, PMS blues

I don't even like myself but it's something I can't help

I got those God almighty, lap somebody PMS blues.



Most times I'm easy going, some say I'm good as gold

But when I PMS, I tell ya I turn mean and cold

Those not afflicted with it are affected just the same

You poor ol' men didn't have to grin and say I feel your pain.



PMS Blues, PMS Blues

You know you must forgive us 'cause we care not what we do

Got those can't stop crying, dishes flying, PMS blues.



But you know we can't help it we don't even know the cause

But as soon as this part's over then comes the menopause

Oh Lord, oh Lord, we're going to always be a heap of fun

Like the devil taking over, my body suffering, suffering, suffering

Everybody's suffering, huh?



But a woman had to write this song, a man would be scared to

Lest he be called a chauvenist or just fall victim to those PMS blues

You know we'd kill for less than that, PMS blues.



You don't want to cross my path 'cause a pitbull ain't no match

For these teeth a clenchin', fluid retention, head a swellin', can't stop yellin'

Got no patience, I'm so hateful, PMS blues

Premenstrual syndrome, got those moods a swingin', tears a slingin'

Nothin' fits me, when it hits me, rantin', ravin', misbehavin' PMS blues.



It's the only time in my life I ever think about wishing I'd been a man

But you know that only means one thing

If I'd have been a man I'd be somewhere right this very minute

With some old cranky, naggin', raggin', hateful woman.



With those old PMS blues, PMS blues

I don't want to talk about it, we both could do without it

Got those treat your kids bad, don't you talk back

Gone ballistic, unrealistic, awful lowdown bitch to be around, PMS blues...