Artist/Band:
Weird Al Yankovic
Lyrics for Song: Jerry Springer
Lyrics for Album: Saga Begins [2000]
It's been, one week since we got to see,
Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry.
5 days since they had the show with the hermaphrodit
the slut, and the crackhoe
3 days since we heard the tale about the guy who learned
his woman was a she-male.
Yesterday, it occured to me, that I'd been watching a bit
too much Jerry Springer.
Holy Cow, didya see it last week?
Well they had this one freak,
Who suckered punched his whole family.
Do you recall when the brawl became a total 'free-for-all'
and jerry's in the middle trying to be the referee?
Hey, see the stripper with the implants?
She likes to lap-dance, and date the boyfriend of her mother.
Now here comes Jerry's next guest, and it's a slug fest cuz
it's her trailer trash brother.
Nymphomaniac is back on crack it's like when animals attack
they all exhibit reprehensible behaviour.
hit em in the nose tear off their clothes
step on their toes thats how it goes
they get so violent they have to sign a waiver.
They're always swearin' cursin' kickin' butt and pointin' blame
on the air they dont care they got no shame.
There was one guy I'm sure he felt a little strange, when he found
out that his wife had a sex change.
They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly,
They have a history of ripping off their shirts...
It's been One week since they had the fight,
with the Siamese twins and the transvestite.
5 days since that awful brawl,
They still haven't got the blood off the wall, it's been
3 days since the bitter feud between the KKK and the gay Jewish
black dude.
Yesterday, it finally dawned on me, that I'd been watching
a bit too much Jerry Springer.
Speaking: Baby, I've been sleeping with your sister.
Ugh! Which one?
All of 'em.
Well I've been sleeping with you're best friend, Jay!
Yeah? Well..Well! Me too and I've been sleeping with your dog, Woofie.
Woofie, you bitch. Well I'm also sleepin' with your pet goat!
That goat doesn't love you!
Once you start watching, there's just no stopping.
Your brain shuts down, and your IQ's dropping.
Jerry's the king of confrontation, he's a sensation, he puts the sin
in sindication
He's totally worthless like a bad check, he's like a train wreck,
Don't want to stare, but you can't look away.
Like Sally Jesse, he does talk shows, but with more weirdos,
The rating's jumping higher every day.
If you've seen the show, then you know it's about as low
as you can go,
The guests are tacky, and they're lacking in their hygiene.
Then pretty soon, some ugly goon comes in the room, and then
it's boom in the face of some unsuspecting Drag Queen
Well it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities,
yanking hair, throwing chairs at their hubbies.
Jerry, Jerry, now the crowd starts their favourite chant.
Should I turn off my TV? I just can't.
I have a tendency to watch it religiously, I have a history
of taping each one.
It's been One week since the show about,
Psycho killers with problems they should work out.
5 days since the big surprise, when some loser's wife said
that shes still datin' 20 guys,
3 days since the interview, a bunch of psychic pornstar midgets
who were all nude,
Yesterday it occured to me, that I've been watching
a bit too much jerry Springer.
Tired of wasting my time on that Jerry Springer,
I've got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer.
Come over here and pull on my finger.
(Music Slowly Fades)
|
