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[ More Bette Midler lyrics ]
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Artist/Band: Bette Midler
Lyrics for Song: Comic Relief
Lyrics for Album: Other Songs - Bette Midler



Oh God, Oh God, life is real life

is when you wanna sing Polly-Wally-Doodle all the day,

Well you know, I may well be a sequel to Jaws,

in which a shark is attacked by a great white woman,

Actually I'm not going to do the sequel to Jaws at all,

I'm making the sequel to 'Emanuelle',

I call it 'Temple Emanuelle'. Actually it's not dirty at all,

it's just a lot of kissing and mezzuzas.

And er, one singular sub-plot,

in which a woman who has an un-natural relationship with a Kreplach.

I know there must be one or two of you out there,

who haven't got the vaguest idea what the hell is a Kreplach,

and to both of you I say...

A Kreplach is a person from Kreplachia,

which is a very small fishing nation wedged between Estonia and Latvia,

You don't hear from them too much since the iron curtain fell!

But every now and again, one or two Kreplach's manage to escape...

But NEVER to Cleveland!



[Audience Member:] YES!

[Audeince Member:] Not True!



What!?

There we have one Kreplach.

Who one Kreplach that managed to get to Cleveland!

In fact, I venture to say that was the Kreplach that ate Cleveland!

[Audience Member:] Are you sure!?

No, Belle Barth used to say:

'Shut your hole honey, mines making money!'

[Audience Member:] OH!

Ooh, she didn't say that!

I never said that,

I didn't say that,

I never said that!



Oh did you hear the news!?

You haven't heard the news,

I must tell you the news,

I am the harbinger of news here.

I slept with Jack kennedy

[Bette Laughs]

You wanna know what else!?

They slept with Jack Kennedy!

[Points to the Harlette's]

Talk about your bad pigs! Really.



Oh, I'm sorry Girls.

Oh my God,

Oh God,

Oh God,

Alright,

Oh God,

Oh God,

Oh God,

Oh God,

Alright,

Alright,

Alright!



Please forgive me everyone!

Please forgive me!

Just a little yolk,

Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!


Album Lyrics: Other Songs - Bette Midler


Bette Midler
"Other Songs - Bette Midler"


1. My Mother's Eyes
2. One for My Baby (And One More for the Road)
3. Shiver Me Timbers
4. Alabama Song
5. Baby June And Her Newsboys
6. Backstage
7. Bang, You're Dead
8. Big Noise From Winnetka - Divine Madness Version
9. Birds
10. Blueberry Pie
11. Comic Relief
12. Concert Monologue
13. Coping
14. E Street Shuffle
15. End Credits
16. Everything's Coming Up Roses
17. Fat As I Am
18. Fire Down Below
20. Friends (Side 2, Cut 1)
21. Friends (Side 2, Cut 6)
22. God Help the Outcasts
23. He Was Too Good To Me / Since You Stayed Here
24. Heaven
25. Hurry On Down
26. I Put A Spell On You
27. I Think It's Going To Rain Today
28. I'm Singing Broadway
29. Intermission: You're Moving Out Today
30. Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!
31. Little Lamb
32. Long John Blues
33. Love Me With A Feeling
34. Marriage, Movies, Madonna And Mick
35. May We Entertain You
36. Mr. Goldstone
37. Mrwonderful
38. Nanette
39. Oh My My
41. Perfect Isn't Easy
42. Ready To Begin Again
43. Rose's Turn
44. Small World
45. Some People
47. Somewhere Along the Way
48. Somewhere in My Memory
49. Soph (Spoken Word)
50. Summer (The First Time)
53. The Vicki Eydie Show: Around The World/istanbul/fiesta In Rio/south Se
54. Those Wonderful Sophie Tucker Jokes
55. Together, Wherever We Go
56. Up The Ladder To The Roof
57. Up! Up! Up!
58. Uptown / Don't Say Nothin' Bad (About My Baby) / Da Doo Run Run
60. Viva Las Vegas
61. Winter Wonderland
62. You Can't Always Get What You Want
63. You Don't Own Me
64. You Gotta Get A Gimmick
65. You'll Never Get Away From Me