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Artist/Band: Andrew Lloyd Webber
Lyrics for Song: Mr. Mistoffelees
Lyrics for Album: Cats [1981]



You ought to ask Mr. Mistoffelees!

The original Conjuring cat

There can be no doubt about that.



Please, listen to me, and don't scoff, all his

Inventions are off his own bat.

There's no such cat in the metropolis,

He holds all the patent monoplies,

For perfoming surprising illusions,

And creating eccentric confusion.



The greatest magicians have something to learn

From Mister Mistoffelees Conjuring Turn



And we all say



Oh! Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees



He is quiet, he is small he is black

From his ears to the tip of his tail

He can creep through the tiniest crack

He can walk on the narrowest rail

He can pick any card from a pack

He is equally cunning with dice

He is always decieving you into believing

That he's only hunting for mice



He can play any trick with a cork

Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste

If you look for a knife or a fork

And you think it merely misplaced

You have seen it one moment and then it is gone

You'll find it next week lying out on the lawn!



And we all say

Oh! Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees



PRESTO!



Oh! Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees



Oh! Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees



Oh! Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees



My manner is vague and aloof

You would think there is nobody shyer

But my voice has been heard on the roof

When I was curled up by the fire

And I've sometimes been heard by the fire

When I was about on the roof

At least they all heard that somebody purred

Which is uncontestable proof

Of my singular magical powers

And I've known the family to call

Me in from the garden for hours

When I was asleep in the hall



And not long ago this phenominal cat

Produced seven kittens right out of a hat



And we all say

Oh! Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees



And not long ago this phenominal cat

Produced seven kittens right out of a hat



And we all say

Oh! Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well I never was there ever

A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees



Ladies and Gentleman, I give you the Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!


Album Lyrics: Cats [1981]


Andrew Lloyd Webber
"Cats [1981]"


1. Bustopher Jones
2. Grizabella
3. Grizabella The Glamour Cat
4. Growltiger's Last Stand
5. Gus The Theater Cat
6. Macavity: The Mystery Cat
7. Mr. Mistoffelees
8. Mungojerrie And Rumpelteazer
9. Old Deuteronomy
10. Prologue: Jellicle Songs For Jellicle Cats
11. Skimbleshank's The Railway Cat
12. The Ad-Dressing Of Cats
13. The Invitation To The Jellicle Ball
14. The Journey To The Heaviside Layer
15. The Moments Of Happiness
16. The Naming Of Cats
17. The Old Gumbie Cat
18. The Rum Tug Tugger