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Elvis Costello Lyrics for Song: This Offer Is Unrepeatable
 Lyrics for Album: The Juliet Letters [1993]
 
 
 
 34357>Don't send any money!
 
 Fate has no price
 
 Ignore at your peril this splendid advice
 
 An invaluable link in an infinite chain
 
 An offer like this will just not come again
 
 You wish you had women to charm and bewitch
 
 Power of life and death over the rich young girls will
 
 be swooning
 
 Because you're exciting them
 
 And not only fall at your feet but be biting them
 
 
 
 Guaranteed, guaranteed to capture your breath
 
 Or just possibly scare you to death
 
 
 
 Sign it and seal it and send it to friends
 
 But don't mention my name
 
 Don't make any long term plans
 
 
 
 In thirty-six hours your fortunes will change
 
 Your best friends won't know you
 
 And neither will strangers
 
 Do not keep this letter
 
 It must leave your hand
 
 You have been selected from over five thousand
 
 
 
 A twister or dupe will bamboozle or hoodwink you
 
 I can't say more it would only confuse you
 
 The wine that they offer will go to your head
 
 And you'll start to see double in fishes and bread
 
 
 
 Guaranteed, guaranteed for a lifetime or more
 
 Guaranteed, for this world and the next
 
 Guaranteed, guaranteed for the world and its mother
 
 Cherish this life as you don't get another one
 
 
 
 UNLESS you should take up this fabulous offer
 
 Don't leave it too late or you'll be bound to suffer
 
 And woebetide anyone so woebegone
 
 You won't know you're born or about to pass on
 
 
 
 You'll never get tired
 
 You'll never get bored
 
 By the way I just hope you're insured
 
 
 
 And if you're not satisfied
 
 If you want more
 
 We can always provide an improved overture
 
 Guaranteed at a price that is almost unbeatable
 
 This offer is unrepeatable
 
 
 
 Your trouble will vanish
 
 Your tears will dry
 
 Your blessing will just multiply
 
 Guaranteed at a price that is almost unbeatable
 
 This offer is unrepeatable
 
 
 
 Guaranteed, guaranteed to bring fortune and favor
 
 In a riot of colours, (a variety of) and flavours
 
 Guaranteed at a price that is almost unbeatable
 
 This offer is unrepeatable
 
 
 
 Would I lie to you? Would I sell you a dud?
 
 Just sign on the line. Could you possibly write it in
 
 blood?
 
 34357>
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| Album Lyrics: The Juliet Letters [1993] |  
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  Elvis Costello
 "The Juliet Letters [1993]"
 
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