Army
Ben Folds Five · The Unathorised Biography of Reinhold Messner
Dad said, son you're fucking high
And I thought, yeah there's a first for everything
So I took my old man's advice
Three sad semesters
It was only fifteeen grand spent in bed
I thought about the army
I dropped out and joined a band instead
Grew a moustache and a mullet
Got a job at Chick-Fil-A
Citing artistic differences
The band broke up in May
And in June reformed without me
And they'd got a different name
I nuked another grandma's apple pie
And hung my head in shame
Oh
I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
Oh, I think I'll write a screenplay
Oh, I think I'll take it to LA
Oh, I think I'll get it done yesterday
Aw, Shit
In this time of introspection
On the eve of my election
I say to my reflection
God, please spare me more rejection
'Cause my peers they criticize me
And my ex-wives all despise me
Try to put it all behind me
But my redneck past is nipping at my heels
I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
I thought about the army...
Army
Army stands as a standout track from Ben Folds Five's 1995 debut album, The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner. The song captures the band's signature blend of piano-driven rock and introspective lyricism that defined their early career. Emerging during a period of intense creative output, the recording showcases the group's ability to balance melodic accessibility with emotional depth. As part of a discography that includes later classics like Whatever & Ever Amen, this work highlights the trio's dynamic interplay and distinctive sound. The track remains a testament to the band's influence on alternative rock, offering listeners a glimpse into the formative years of a group that would go on to achieve lasting critical acclaim through their unique musical approach.