Lonesome Cowboy Nando

Frank:

My name is Nando,

I'm a marine biologist.

All my friends,

they call me "Doh".



Ike & Mike:

Hi, Doh!



Frank:

All my family,

from someplace in this area,

And they complain if I talk about this horrible pizza

during the show.



All:

Come out here, to Californy,

Just to find me some pretty girls.

Ones I seen gets me so horny,

Ruby lips, 'n teeth like pearls.



Wanna love 'em all, wanna love 'em dearly.

Wanna a jellyfish, I'll even pay.

I'll buy 'em furs, I'll buy 'em pizza,

I know they like me, here's what I'll say:



(1971:)



Jimmy Carl Black:

I'm lonesome cowboy Burt.

Speakin' atcha!

Won'tcha smell my fringe-y shirt?

Reekin' atcha!

My cowboy pants,

My cowboy dance,

My bold advance

On this here waitress...



Mark & Howard:

He's lonesome cowboy Burt. A-Ha!

Don'tcha get his feelings hurt.



Jimmy:

Come on in this place

An' I'll buy you a taste.

You can sit on my face.

Where's my waitress?



Mark & Howard:

Burtram, Burtram redneck!

Burtram, Burtram redneck!



Jimmy:

I'm an awful nice guy.

Worked all day in the sun.

I'm a roofer by trade,

Quite a bundle I've made,

I'm a unionized roofin' old son-of-a-gun.



Mark & Howard:

He's a unionized roofin' old son of a gun!



(1988:)



Ike:

"Darling, I crazy go nuts when I hear this,

you know what I'm sayin'?"



Frank:

When I get off, I get plastered.

I swim till I fall on the jellyfish.

Then I find me some academic kind of illustrator,

I describe the little dangling utensils on this thing,

And tell him to draw it up

so it looks just like a brand new jellyfish.



Ike & Mike:

(trying to follow along, they sing some gibberish)



Frank:

"Take that! Take that!"

I fuss an' I cuss and I keep on swimmin',

Till my snorkel puffs up an' turns red.

I drool on my shorts,

I do some water sports,

Then I take the jellyfish back to my house

And stick it in the bed! "Sorta..."



Ike & Mike:

"Whaddya do?"

Stick it again in the bed!



Frank:

"That's right!



Ike & Mike:

Stick it again in the bed!

Stick it again in the bed!

Stick it again in the bed!



(1971:)



Jimmy:

Lonesome cowboy Burt.

Speakin' atcha!

Smell my fringe-y shirt.

Reekin' atcha!

My cowboy pants,

My cowboy dance,

My bold advance

On this here waitress!



Mark & Howard:

He's lonesome cowboy Burt. Yee-ha!

Don'tcha get his feelings hurt!



Jimmy:

Come on in this place,

an' I'll buy you a taste.

You can sit on my face.

Where's my waitress?



"Opal, you hot little bitch!"