Detachable Penis

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover,

and my penis was missing again.

This happens all the time.

It's detachable.

This comes in handy a lot of the time.

I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble,

or I can rent it out when I don't need it.

But now and then I go to a party,

get drunk,

and the next morning I can't for the life of me

rememberwhat I did with it.

First I looked around my apartment

and I couldn't find it,

so I called up the place where the party was,

they hadn't seen it either.

I asked them to check the medicine cabinet

coz for some reason,

I leave it there sometimes,

but not this time.

So I told them if it pops up

to let me know.

I called a few people who were at the party,

but they were no help either.

I was starting to get desperate.

I really don't like being without my penis for too long.

It makes me feel like less of a man

and I really hate to have to sit down every time I take a leak.

After a few hours of searching the house

and calling everyone I could think of,

I was starting to get very depressed,

so I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast.

Then as I walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place,

where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,

I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven.

Some guy was selling it.

I had to buy it off him.

He wanted 22 bucks,

but I talked him down to 17.

I took it home,

washed it off,

and put it back on.

I was happy again.

Complete.

People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,

but I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,

I like having a detachable penis.