Ernie Helps Bert With His Sneeze

Bert: "Ahhhh....ahhhh...."



Ernie: "Hey Bert, what's wrong?"



Bert: "I think I'm going to sneeze."



Ernie: "Bert, you can't sneeze,

you don't have a hanky. You can't sneeze without a hanky."



Bert: "I know, can you go get one, Ernie? Please hurry!"



Ernie: "Wait right there. (he runs off,

returns with a large hanky) Okay you can sneeze now."



Bert: "Ahh, ahhh, just hold it right there, Ernie."



Ernie: "Just sneeze any way you want to."



Bert: "Hold it that way, aaaahhhh,

AAAhhhhh, I can feel it coming,

AAAAAHHHH, It's going to be a big one--AAACCCCCHHHHOOOOoooo!!!

(Bert buries his nose in the hanky,

but when he lifts his head,

his nose is still in Ernie's hand!

) (nasally) That's better! Thanks, Ernie."



Ernie: "Uh, Bert? (taps him on the shoulder,

shows him his nose.) This here's your nose.

Looks like you sneezed your nose off."



Bert: (nasal) "Rats! (pause) Ernie,

can you keep this quiet? Draw the drapes and.

..(softly) and put my nose back on!"



Ernie: "Why of course, kehehehe!

That's what friends are for,

aren't they, kehehehe?! They put their friends' noses back on!"



Bert: (nasal) "Ernie, cut the clowning, and just put my nose back on!"



Ernie: "Okay, okay." (Bert bends down,

Ernie sticks it way over on the right side of his face,

then starts laughing again)



Bert: "Ernie, what are you doing? That's not where my nose goes!"



Ernie: "Kehehehe! You should see where your nose is, Bert, kehehehe!"



Bert: "I can see it, yeah,

out of my left eye I can see it! C'mon, Ernie, you know where it goes!"



Ernie: "Okay, just a minute.

" (Ernie pulls Bert's nose off and then sticks it above

Bert's eyebrows, starts laughing again.)



Bert: "Is that your idea of where my nose goes? You know where it belongs!"



Ernie: "Kehehehe, it looks pretty funny right where it is, kehehehe!"



Bert: "Ho-ho. C'mon, Ernie,

you know what to do, do it right!

" (Bert bends down again, and Ernie moves Bert's nose

down below Bert's chin, then laughes some more)



Ernie: "Kehehehe! You should see where it is now!"



Bert: "ERNIE! C'mon now, quit clowning around, do it right!"



Ernie: "Okay, hang on. (Ernie finally puts Bert's nose

where it belongs) There!"



Bert: "Thanks, Ern. (pause) Oh no!"



Ernie: "What's the matter?"



Bert: "I think I'm going to sneeze again!"