We're A Couple Of Swells

We're a couple of swells

We stop at the best hotels

But we prefer the country far away from the city smells

We're a couple of sports

The pride of the tennis courts

In June, July and August we look cute when we're dressed in shorts

The Vanderbilts have asked us up for tea

We don't know how to get there, no siree

No, siree



We would drive up the Avenue, but we haven't got the price

We would skate up the Avenue, but there isn't any ice

We would ride on a bicycle, but we haven't got a bike

So we'll walk up the Avenue

Yes, we'll walk up the Avenue

And to walk up the Avenue's what we like



Wall Street bankers are we

With plenty of currency

We'd open up the safe but we forgot where we put the key

We're the favorite lads

Of girls in the picture ads

We'd like to tell you who we kissed last night but we can't be cads

The Vanderbilts are waiting at the club

But how are we to get there, that's the rub

That's the rub



We would sail up the Avenue, but we haven't got a yacht

We would drive up the Avenue, but the horse we had was shot

We would ride on a trolley car but we haven't got the fare

So we'll walk up the Avenue

Yes, we'll walk up the Avenue

Yes, we'll walk up the Avenue till we're there



We would swim up the Avenue but we haven't any lake

So we'll walk up the Avenue

Yes, we'll walk up the Avenue

Yes, a walk up the Avenue's what we'll take