Ode To The Bouncer

Nope, I haven't had no dope

Lift up the velvet rope

Mr doorman stop teasing

I'm freezing out here



See, I've got friends inside

It's my birthday tonight

And I'm not wearing trainers

Not to mention knickers



It's futile to debate

With St Peter at the gate

Made of protein milkshake

And low carb intake



'Cause all in all you're just another prick at the door



Ooh, let me in or I'll get physical with you

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical to do



Bouncer, hey bouncer, bouncer bouncer bouncer bouncer



Bouncer, empowered and aroused

I see it in your trousers

And in the way your browse her

Look she's in!



WHAT?! Her dress is up to waterline

That bitch is clearly borderline

Nose as white as Snow White's, in moonlight



We stand in awe in front of another prick at the door



Ooh, let me in or I'll get physical with you

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical to do



Bouncer, hey bouncer, bouncer bouncer bouncer bouncer



Ooh, let me in or I'll get physical

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical



So you can play karate

You thick illiterati

I'm a black belt in life

So go home to your ugly wife



You forgot in your wisdom

The window to the ladies room

A whole new possibility for a cat like me



Ooh, let me in or I'll get physical with you

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical to do



Bouncer bouncer bouncer bouncer bouncer