Everything Dumber Than Everything Else
Dum Dums · Everything Dumber Than Everything Else
Working to the bone for a cheque on a Friday
Condemned to join the family business like my Dad
So what if I don't want to go to school
And be a fool driven by a brainwashed system
Like a first kiss, or a disgruntled mistress
I can't handle this...
Everything I do, sucks me into you
Who made you the judge?
Of everything I do...do...
A difficult phase, lust-crazed
Getting sick of the sin I commit, like a hypocrite
And the aching and the no direction
So what if I want to be a virgin and not do pills
Or felonies, I don't want to go to jail
And get my butt-raped by an ape, by mistake
On our first date and catch aids
Everything I do, sucks me into you
Who made you the judge?
Of everything I do...do...
I'm getting scared about people on TV
Don't wanna live and die, for the treasure that they seek
I want to wreck my town and live up in the trees
I...
Everything I do, sucks me into you
Who made you the judge?
Of evrything I do...
Everything Dumber Than Everything Else
“Everything Dumber Than Everything Else” speaks in the voice of someone who refuses to accept the standard route to adulthood: school, the family business, a Friday paycheck and the promise that conformity will eventually feel meaningful. The lyric’s rebellion is not polished. It is funny, crude and self-contradictory, jumping between moral scruples, sexual panic and the fear of becoming a hypocrite. That instability makes the narrator sound young, but not insincere. The song understands that rejecting one set of rules does not automatically produce a coherent alternative.
Its chorus turns the problem outward: who appointed anyone the judge of the speaker’s choices? Yet the narrator is not entirely free of judgment; he worries about sin, drugs, jail and the consequences of his own impulses. The song’s energy comes from holding those concerns together without reconciling them. It is a punk refusal of respectable adulthood, but it also acknowledges the anxiety that comes with refusing its protections. Everything seems dumb, including the speaker’s own attempts to make sense of it.
Dum Dums’ early pop-punk identity provides a natural frame for this kind of irreverence, though song-specific retrospective criticism is sparse. The lyric uses shock humor and adolescent exaggeration, and some of its imagery is deliberately offensive; describing that tone is not the same as endorsing it. What remains compelling is the song’s portrait of rebellion as an unfinished argument with the future. It does not offer a better system. It insists that the one on offer deserves to be questioned before anyone mistakes obedience for wisdom.