I Was Hoping

as we were talking outside it was cold
we were shivering yet warmed by the subject matter
my wife is in the next room
we´ve been having troubles you know please don´t tell her or anyone but i need to talk to somebody
you said wouldn´t it be a shame if i knew how great i was
fiveminutes before i died i´d be filled with such regret
before i took my last breath
and I said you´re wiiling to tell me this now and y
ou´re not going to die any time soon
and I said I haven´t been eating chicken or meat or anything
and you said yes but you´ve been wearing leather and
laughed
and said we´re at the top of the food chain and yes you´re still a fine woman and i cringed

i was hoping i was hoping we could heal each other
i was hoping i was hoping we could be raw together

we left the restaurant where the head waiter (in his 60´s) said good-bye sir thank you for your business sir you´re succesful and
established sir and we like the frequency with which
you dine here sir and your money and when i walked by thank you too dear
I was all pigtails and cords and there was a day when
i would´ve said something like hey dude I could buy and sell this place so kiss it I too
once thought i was owed something

I was hoping i was hoping we could challenge each other
i was hoping i was hoping we could crack each other up

I too thought that when proved wrong i lost somehow
i too once thought life was cruel
it´s a cycle you think i´m withdrawing and gulit tripping you
i think you´re insensitive
and i don´t feel heard and i said do you believe we are fundamentally judgemental? fundamentally evil?
and you said yes i said i don´t believe in revenge in right or wrong good or bad you said
well what about the man that i saw handcuffed in the emergency room bleeding after beating his kid and
she threw a shoe at his head.
i think that what he did was wrong and i would´ve had a hard time feeling compassion for him
i had to watch my tone for fear of having you feel judged.

i was hoping i was hoping we could dance together
i was hoping i was hoping we could be creamy together