I'm Not A Well Man

He's not a well man

And he's getting worse

If he had any sense

He'd be in bed with a graduate nurse



A couple of big specialists

High priced consultation

And outside waiting in the hall

Assorted logic small poor relations



His aches have got aches

His pains are in pain

And what sizzles and frizzles

Inside there all the smartest



Professors could not explain

They wouldn't know what?

Be quick as you can

I might haven't got



You're dealing with not

(Cough)

With not a well man

I'm not a well man

Get worse every year



All the medical doctors

Give one look

They're amazed

I'm still here



I should own a pharmacy

For just my prescriptions

My bills for only pills alone

Would chill you to the bone



With conniptions

What I have been through

No man could recite

It would make your heart break



And play a story that only

Turn yet it maybe could write

A tragical plot

How can I plan?



I might haven't got

You're dealing with not

(Cough)

With not a well man

I'm not a well man