Artist/Band:
Weird Al Yankovic
Lyrics for Song: Confessions (Part III)
Lyrics for Album: Straight Outta Lynwood [2009]
These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say I came up up with more
secrets to tell you today
These are my confessions
Slip my mind the last two times
Silly me, so now I gotta give you part three of my confessions
First I told you about the skank that I was cheating with,
then I mentioned she's having my kid
That's not all, now I recall more you see
so I'll give you part three of my confessions
Now this is gonna be the hardest thing I ever had to do,
Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two
Like remember when I told you I knew Paulie Shore (Paulie Shore)
That's a lie, I don't know what I said that for
I borrowed your chapstick (from you)
I tried out your nose hair trimmer (too)
And by the way your diamond ring is cubic circonium,
I killed your goldfish accidently, just replaced it with another one
These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say I needed to get some
things off my chest right away
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta
give you part three of my confessions
I threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drink
There have been times when I've peed in your sink
Don't know why, but you and I should agree that belongs
in part three of my confessions
Baby forgive me I'm still trying to figure out why I used
your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grought
Oh and sometimes in private, I really like to dress up as
Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick)
My boss thinks I'm a jerk, I didn't get that raise.
I haven't changed my underwear in twenty-seven days!
And when I'm kissing you I fantasize you as a midget
I'm so sorry Debbi! I mean Bridget!
These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say I got a few more
secrets I'd like to convey
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta
give you part three of my confessions
Gave you buttered toast I dropped and then picked up off the floor
FYI it was not a cold sore
Ooops my bad, but you'll be madder at me when I finish part
three of my confessions
You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this, but
remember that shirt that you got me for my birthday?
Well, I returned it for store credit. That thing was hideous,
what were you thinking?
O and by the way, I wasn't really sick last week,
I just didn't wanna go to your stupid office picnic
Oh and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of rice krispies,
What I meant was that there was only enough left for me. Sorry.
These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say, I thought of
some more things that should scare you away
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess
I gotta give you part three of my confessions
Once I blew my nose and wiped it on your cat
And I lied, yes that dress makes you look fat
Anyway, I shouldn't say anymore 'til I give you part four of my confessions
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