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Artist/Band: Ben Folds
Lyrics for Song: Army
Lyrics for Album: The Best Imitation Of Myself - A Retrospective [2011]

Well I thought about the army

Dad said, son you're fucking high

And I thought, yeah there's a first for everything

So I took my old man's advice

Three sad semesters

It was only fifteeen grand spent in bed

I thought about the army

I dropped out and joined a band instead

Grew a moustache and a mullet

Got a job at Chick-Fil-A

Citing artistic differences

The band broke up in May

And in June reformed without me

And they'd got a different name

I nuked another grandma's apple pie

And hung my head in shame


I've been thinking a lot today

I've been thinking a lot today

Oh, I think I'll write a screenplay

Oh, I think I'll take it to LA

Oh, I think I'll get it done yesterday

Aw, Shit

In this time of introspection

On the eve of my election

I say to my reflection

God, please spare me more rejection

'Cause my peers they criticize me

And my ex-wives all despise me

Try to put it all behind me

But my redneck past is nipping at my heels

I've been thinking a lot today

I've been thinking a lot today

I've been thinking a lot today

I thought about the army...

Album Lyrics: The Best Imitation Of Myself - A Retrospective [2011]

Ben Folds
"The Best Imitation Of Myself - A Retrospective [2011]"

1. All U Can Eat
2. Annie Waits
3. Army
4. Battle of Who Could Care Less
5. Best Imitation of Myself
6. Bitches Ain't Shit
7. Boxing
8. Brick
9. Careless Whisper
10. Effington
11. Evaporated
12. Fred Jones Pt. 2
13. From Above
14. Girl
15. Gracie
16. Hiro's Song
17. House
18. Julianne
19. Kate
20. Kylie From Connecticut
21. Landed
22. Long Tall Texan
23. Losing Lisa
24. Magic
25. Mess
26. Missing The War
27. Not the Same
28. One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces
29. Philosophy
30. Picture Window
31. Rock Star
32. Rockin' The Suburbs
33. Selfless, Cold, And Composed
34. Sentimental Guy
35. Sleazy
36. Smoke
37. Song For The Dumped
38. Still
39. Still Fighting It
40. Such Great Heights
41. The Luckiest
42. The Secret Life Of Morgan Davis
43. There's Always Someone Cooler Than You
44. Time
45. Underground
46. Unrelated
47. Video
48. Wandering
49. You Don't Know Me
50. Zak And Sara