Either Night Before Xmas Or Day After I Got Paid Still Getting Drunk

'Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the house

Not a creature was stirring

Well except for Daddy with a computer mouse.



All the stockings were hung by the chimney with care

(What's a chimney ? What are stockings ? I hope they don't,

That one stocking is kind of ugly and dirty

I hope they don't expect Santa to put his hand down there)

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there

(On his rocket-ship because the reindeer I'm not sure,

you know people are shooting a lot of reindeer these days)



Then what to my wondering eyes should appear

But a martin spaceship with martins that look kind of queer



A little old driver, so lively and quick

I knew in a moment it wasn't St. Nick



And more rapid than eagles his spaceship it seemed?

I thought maybe this is either a nightmare or a very strange dream



So up on the house top that spaceship it flew

And I was wondering why it was landing it was kind I felt really confused



You know because of I didn't see the script for the movie I was in

And a I'd been drinking a couple tonics and gin.



Well all of sudden the martins came down the chimney

And they started to look funny at me



And one said lets sing Grand Ma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

And the other 2 they sang kind of weird



Well the next thing I knew it was morning or noon

And I woke up at the bar and it was June



(Laughter) I'm sorry I guess this is,

so

I don't know if this is a good rhyme or not but



Hey Merry Christmas to all

and to all who are listening to the poem that I am making up at I go

May you get a real gift but hey what the heck if you stuck with coal

You can always do an art piece on white paper

And that'll be kind of nifty and dear



Have fun and Keep your day job