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Artist/Band: Frank Zappa
Lyrics for Song: The White Boy Troubles
Lyrics for Album: Thing-Fish [1984]



ENSEMBLE: (singing)

De white boy troubles!

(White boy troubles!)

De white boy troubles!

(Boy got troubles!)

Oh what a boidennn!

(Oh, heavy boidennn!)

His car's fucked up!

De boy got a provlem!

She ripped up de 'polstry

(Wit de red dress on)

Outa dat O-zo-mobile!

(Tell me what I say)

Hafta go ta Tia-Juana now!

(I don't have it)

He should go to BROWN MOSES,

Way down in Egyppp-Lainnn!

(Egyppp-Lainnn)



THING-FISH: (checking off a clipboard, like a social worker)

Looks likes y'done putty good heahh, HARRY-AS-A-BOY! I sees ya' growin'

up like a weed, axmodently reproducin' YOSEFF 'n evvythang. Done found

some low-rent housin' in a one-dimensional cardbode nativity box on some

Italian's funt lawn...bunch o' crab-grass underneath de offspring fo quick 'n

easy sanitatium...shit! Y'all provvly be savin' up fo yo first LAVA LAMP putty

soon!



HARRY-AS-A-BOY:

We're incredibly happy! Even though I'm gay for business purposes, my

relationship with artificial RHONDA has blossomed into something really

beautiful, although I must confess to being baffled by how she got knocked

up.



THING-FISH:

Well, if de trufe be told, it were de father o' de boy at de gas statium...when

y'sent de ol' lady in fo' de inner-tube patchin', 'round de foth o' July.



HARRY-AS-A-BOY:

QUENTIN? How could he be so unfaithful? I'm sure God has ways of

punishing naughty little guys like that!



THING-FISH:

Mights well stop complainin', boy! De damage been done! Leastways y'all

can pretend to be SOME KINDA DADDY! Yo' rubber bitch ain't gwine change

no diapers! Y'said y'all was incredibly happy! Enjoy it while y'got it, boy!

De shit gwine hit de fan in a minute!



HARRY-AS-A-BOY:

What? Something BAD is going to happen?



THING-FISH:

You figgit out...judgin' fum de intellectional expressium on yo' beloved's

ignint face, de bitch gwine be contemplatin' A CAREER OF HER OWN! See

dat?



Look like she got her one good eye on a briefcase 'n a tweed spo't coat

down de mall somewheres!



Durin' de intromissium, few de SISTERS seen her 'tendin' a

CONSCIOUSNESS RAISIN' MEETIN' over at de Hiltum! Thass right!

Bitch passed up de MASH POTATOES 'n took off wit' de High School

Cafeteria Butch.



FRANCESCO opens the door, and stands on the porch, still watching

through the binoculars.



THING-FISH: (contd.)

Makin' matters woise, de Italian dat be ownin' yo' nativity bungalow

been wondrin' 'bouts de hanky AN' de panky 'tween you 'n dem two

concrete flamingos ovuh by de steps! You been messin' wit de State

Bird o' New Jersey, muthafucker! Dat kin git you five to life in dis

vicinity! If you wants a little frennly advice, boy, I'd be growin' my

ass up a little quicker, 'n whizz on outa heahh!



Leave de ugly baby in de crab-grass, snatch up yo' wretched excuse

fo a woman, 'n climb on up de heap! Get yo'seff a job drivin' a truck fulla

string-beans to Utah! Make sumfin' out y'seff, so's y'can afode a ticket to

de MAMMY NUN SHOW! Den we can piss all ovuh de adulterated wimp you

gwine become, an' get de shit rollin' agin'!


Album Lyrics: Thing-Fish [1984]


Frank Zappa
"Thing-Fish [1984]"


1. Mammy Nuns
2. Harry & Rhonda
3. Galoot Up-Date
4. The 'Torchum' Never Stops
5. That evil prince
6. You Are What You Is (in album Thing-fish)
7. Mudd Club (in album Thing-Fish)
8. The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing (in album Thing-Fis
9. Clowns On Velvet
10. Harry-As-A-Boy
11. The Massive Improve'lence
12. Artificial Rhonda
13. The Crab-Grass Baby
14. The White Boy Troubles
15. No Not Now (in album Thing-fish)
16. Briefcase Boogie
17. Wistful With A Fist-Full
18. Drop dead
19. Won Ton On